Pastor’s Column: God’s Plan for Sexual Brokenness

In the last year, we’ve heard a lot about the “Me Too” movement. And to be honest, I’ve LOVED the national conversation. After all, it’s the first time in years that our culture has started talking about America’s out of control rape-culture.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s actually quite irritating and disheartening when a topic like this becomes hijacked by politics such as in the Kavanaugh hearings. Yet, despite this, it’s still important that we “Address the Mess” when it comes to our sexual brokenness. After all, rape, porn, sex trafficking, and pedophilia are all experiencing record highs in the United States.

For example, did you know that according to the Center for Disease Control, in 2012, at least 18.3% of American women have been raped. That’s almost 1 out of 5 women! And a UNICEF study proved that rape is not only skyrocketing in America but all over the world.

There’s an unprecedented 120 million girls who’ve been sexually abused or raped before age twenty

There’s an unprecedented 120 million girls who’ve been sexually abused or raped before age twenty. (As reported by Mike Embley, BBC World News, interviewing Susan Bissell – Global Head of UNICEF; September 4th, 2014).

Just think about the PAIN of that stat. Of course, many of you know, rape stats tend to increase in direct proportion to porn sales. In fact, 20% of ALL internet porn comes from under-aged trafficked children. And I get it: It’s hard to talk about some of this; all of us have sexual brokenness. Yet, God’s plan isn’t to oppress us but set us free.

So, the question remains: How do we deal with it? Thankfully, we serve a God of redemption. Our church is filled with people from every imaginable background who’ve been restored to a lifestyle of joy. Indeed, repentance is actually a joyful process – the gateway to “refreshment” (Acts 3:19).

Unfortunately, for many people, they struggle with deep shame. Many people feel like they’re the only person who is dealing with their issue. Perhaps you shared your struggle with someone, only to feel further pain and rejection? God wants you to know: You’re not alone. And he’s got plenty of extra grace and power to help you experience a totally new life.

But here’s the purpose of this blog: After diving into our 2015 marriage and sexuality series: Too Many Shades of Grey, the Substance Church staff and I received an amazing number of awesome questions (which we love, by the way). Of course, there’s no way we could even begin to answer these questions; thus, I decided to write a quick blog outlining a variety of resources for the various questions and demographics that are seeking advice. I.e., Treat this page as a “table of contents” of random Bible and research advice.

Free Resources

  • What to Do If You Are Addicted to Porn or Lust– What does porn addiction look like? How does the cycle of addiction get started? And what are some things we can do to break the cycle? What are some books I can read that are specific to men or women? Where can I go for professional help?
  • General Questions on Sex – What are some books we could read about sex (from a Christian perspective)? Are there specific books for newlyweds? What are some general books to take my marriage to a new level?
  • How to “Date without Dying” – A few years ago, I did a 3 part dating blog for all the single people in our church. Obviously, it’s filled with tongue-in-cheek humor. But, you’ll definitely find a few insights.
  • Why Consistent Church Attendees Have the Best Sex – a blog on three big research driven reasons why church attendees have better sex, and how you can experience these benefits!
  • General Research on Sex and Porn – 50 Shades of Truth – a blog listing 50 shocking facts about porn and sex that will forever change how you view the world.
  • To listen to the 2018 Substance Podcast Series, visit “Address the Mess”

Pastor Peter Haas is the lead pastor at Substance Church, a multi-site church in the Twin Cities. This blog was originally posted at

January 16, 2019