Rooted in Scripture, Motivated by Love

“If you are a Christian leader, I think it would be irresponsible to not disciple the people you are leading in what has become one of the most pressing ethical questions facing the Church today. We need to press into this conversation and do it well,” Preston said. He detailed his personal journey in studying the New Testament through his Ph.D program and subsequent roles as a theology professor at three universities. Each experience both challenged and deepened his traditional view of marriage and sexuality. “I don’t believe in the traditional view because it’s traditional…I do think there is ethical, biblical and logical credibility to the traditional view of marriage,” Preston stated. He outlined God’s design in creating male and female as different, yet complementary and unified to one another—each a unique reflection of God’s own image. This creation of two different sexes is a fundamental component of Preston’s definition of and biblical argument for marriage: ‘a one-flesh union between two sexually different persons’. Preston spent the morning affirming a biblical view of marriage, gender, and sexuality through scripture.

However, a biblical sexual ethic is not held unanimously anywhere outside of or within faith communities. Preston acknowledged that generally speaking, the Church has historically prioritized its theology above its posture. “Jesus gives us a model for how the Church, who believes in a biblical sexual ethic, should be towards those who might disagree with our ethic.”

“We see Jesus encountering people who were viewed as socially unacceptable sinners…always lead[ing] with kindness, love, and relationship,” Preston said. He challenged the audience to ask their LGBT+ friends and family what word comes to mind when they think of the Church, and suggested that if “kindness” is not top of the list, Christians are not embodying the love of Christ as we ought. “I rarely, if ever, see people argued into the kingdom,” he added.

Preston shared stories of LGBT+ friends and those who affirm a non-traditional view, each with a reaction to church experiences that corrected, assumed, and condemned instead of listening and loving. These stories hold varying levels of pain, trauma, and isolation and contribute to statistics like 83% of LGBT+ people being raised in the Church with 51% leaving after turning 18 (Us Versus Us: The Untold Story of Religion and the LGBT Community, Andrew Marin (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2016)). In response to these and similar statistics, an increasing number of Christians are adopting a same-sex theology of marriage in efforts to better embody the love of Jesus.

Preston addressed the question many continue to ask: Can Christians really hold to our theology and genuinely love LGBT+ people? Absolutely. Not only can we do both well, but we have Christ as our example in how to love those we may disagree with. Reasons for leaving the Church often include feeling unloved and unsafe, experiencing a relational disconnect with church leaders, and an inability to openly discuss sexuality. Additionally, LGBT+ people are often explicitly asked to leave church communities after sharing their sexual orientation. In Preston’s experience, when asked where the Church could improve in loving the LGBT+ community, few replies include an adjusted theology. Rather a majority of LGBT+ people are tending towards churches that communicate biblical doctrine—so long as kindness and love are not lost in communication. Three LGBT+ panelists shared about their personal experiences within the Church and how faith communities have at various points harmed, hindered, or helped their relationships with God. Each shared a deep commitment to their faith and encouraged the Church in its authenticity and compassion towards its LGBT+ friends and family.

Preston and those at the Center for Faith, Sexuality & Gender are passionate about clarifying that “the debate is over the sexual ethic that people are being accepted into…not about whether certain people should be accepted.” Preston challenged the audience that in holding to a biblical theology, Christians need to maintain a posture of love. The Church needs to listen to others’ stories and experiences, exist as a space where everyone can engage in scripture and fellowship, and exhibit the heart of Jesus towards all people. He encouraged those present to attend Transform Minnesota’s two upcoming Holy Sexuality events: Sexual Identity and Labels, A Testimony by Rachel Gilson and the Journey Well Leadership Conference with Matt and Laurie Krieg.